Friday, November 11, 2005

FJDelgado gets a stripper's number

cutie Natalie Portman in Closer

Well, it was probably just a matter of time, but I can finally cross off one of the few dozen items on my "Asinine Things To-Do List."

I was pretty hammered at a bar in Towson, MD (the hometown of Seinfeld's Elaine character) earlier tonight when this chick came up to me and my friend, Chill Mark. I had been humoring her in conversation for a little while when, seemingly out of nowhere, she busted out, "Do you have a pen?". After getting her number, and as she was leaving, she revealed that "Layla" was her stage name, and "xxx" was her real name. And that I should go see her dance at the local mid/high-end strip club.

In my crazy, fucked-up mind, I danced a little jig.

Sophomoric high-fives were exchanged throughout the bar...

... and then I rode off into the friscalating dusklight.

The hilarious thing is that she went to high school around here, and she was classmates with the sibling of one of my buddies.

You stay classy, Layla!


Luke Kim said...

Annie is a beautiful dealer; she was one of my favorites when I played at Borgata regularly. She is married.

adspar said...

I heard she is recently divorces and dating a high-stakes poker player. Yes, I actually heard that.

F.J. Delgado said...

yep, apparently an 80/160 Borgata player.

I forget who Sal dates (I think a cocktail hottie), there's a slim chance it's Annie, but probably not.

Anonymous said...

Strippers always give their number out, so they can keep a steady stream of regular clients for table dances and after hours action for a couple hundred bucks. No points for you.

F.J. Delgado said...

Dear Anonymous Loser:

Of course I know all of this, I'm a poker pro, what do you take me for? A retarded fuckhead, like you?

Girls are pure evil, at least most of the unvirtuous ones in our society. Take it from someone who sees that kind of shit all around him in Atlantic City, NJ, New York City, NY, and Las Vegas, NV, the three capitals of sin in this country, at least in terms of gambling and getting ahead in life.

It'll never happen, because I don't want any STD's or sores on my mouth, but I'll talk to you once I take Layla home with me some night, in Hell.

See you in hell, cowardly fuckface.

The Hypocritical Judge